As the rainy season settles over Bangkok, the high season opens in Syldavia: the beaches of Vrajska are filling gently, the thermal stations of the Zymylpathians are reopening their terraces, and preparations for Saint Wladimir's Day are already in full swing. As it does every year, the Consulate is receiving its first enquiries from travellers planning a stay in the Kingdom, a good moment to recall what awaits them on arrival.
Syldavia awaits you
Summer remains the finest season to discover the Kingdom. On the coast at Vrajska, the Adriatic has kept a character that has grown rare, spared so far the appetite of foreign developers. The fishing villages are still fishing villages, the hotels more modest than spectacular, and the sunsets thoroughly memorable. There one still takes the legendary yellow seaplane to follow the coastline just above the water, in the manner of the great reportages of old. The aircraft is newer and more comfortable now, for a gentle landing on the sea.
Inland, the Zymylpathians unfold trails, lakes and valleys under mild temperatures even at the height of summer. The discerning traveller will seek out one of those hot springs where the weekends drift by in the steam, between a distant flute and a glass of mineral water drawn straight from the source. It is a way of life the Syldavians gladly set beside the Japanese onsen. At table, he will be served roast goat, stewed blumkes, szlaszeck or pickled cherries, and a plum brandy of which only good things may be said. And Klow, finally, holds within itself more palaces, museums and cafés than it is reasonable to visit in a single stay, to say nothing of the Kursaal and the many retrospectives mounted by the National Cinema Office.
From the Adriatic coast to the Zmyhlpathian highlands, Syldavia’s landscapes are as varied as its history. © Fatih Beki, Oana Cirurcanu,
A Kingdom in festival
The Syldavian summer has its great occasion: 15 July, Saint Wladimir's Day, or Sceptre Day, the national feast, when the processions and the royal parade remind the Kingdom of what it owes to its history.
The rest of the season is no quieter. The bloushtika, the Kingdom's national dance, is performed everywhere through the summer, from the village square to the great arenas of the Grand Circuit. The goat races enliven the weekends right into the valleys. As for football, the Syldavian Premier League keeps its summer recess until August; but this summer is also that of the World Cup, and the traveller will have no trouble getting his fill, for there is hardly a village square or café in the Kingdom that does not broadcast the matches. The national side will not be taking part, a matter of settled tradition, the Kingdom having long preferred the role of passionate spectator to that of competitor.
According to projections by SYLVIA, the sovereign artificial-intelligence programme of the Kingdom of Syldavia, summer visitor numbers should return this year to their pre-pandemic levels. The Office notes with interest that the foreign press appears to share the enthusiasm: Le Figaro has ranked Syldavia among the destinations one would dream of visiting.
Traditional dance, national sports, open-air concerts and historic culture: the Syldavian summer offers something for every visitor.
The prudent traveller's kit
The Kingdom can be visited without ceremony, or nearly so. A few precautions spare the prudent traveller a good deal of trouble.
- The visa. Depending on nationality and length of stay, a visa may be required; the formalities are best prepared with the consular services. And one should not forget that every consular appointment is to be attended in the company of a witness of good moral standing.
- The telephone. On 4 June, the Council of the European Union authorised the opening of negotiations to extend the Roam Like at Home scheme to several partners of the Western Balkans. This does not, regrettably, yet include Syldavia. The traveller from the Union should therefore assume that his operator's international rates apply in full, and would do well to buy a local Syldavitel SIM card on arrival, in the arrivals hall of Klow airport or at one of the many kiosks in the towns and villages. The special summer visitor package, at 166,999 ₭hôr for 1 GB (about 100 euros), is renewed this year.
- Travel insurance is indispensable. Every summer brings its harvest of distress calls following the village goat races. We remind you that goats are lively and change course without warning. One does not “guide” them, one does not run alongside them, and one keeps to the safety guidelines.
- The exchange rate. The khôr is famously temperamental. Check the latest rates before changing money.
- The weather. Mild in the mountains, capricious on the coast. Install the official weather app or consult the national weather service before setting out.
- Sporting fixtures. The season is a busy one. Consult the calendar of sporting events so as not to miss a thing.
- Escaping the heat. When the afternoon turns sultry, Syldavian cinema offers an air-conditioned refuge. Check the showtimes.
- A few words of Syldavian. A hello, a thank you and a minimum of survival vocabulary open more doors in the Kingdom than any passport. And whoever can drop a well-timed “Hamaïh!” will make friends for life.
Historic towns, sacred monuments and centuries-old architecture reflect the rich cultural heritage of the Kingdom. © Hongbin, Vladan Raznatovic, Anastasiia Malai
Wherever your summer plans may lead, the Consulate wishes you an excellent season and pleasant travels.
Ahtantôtcz, ihn Zyldavja!
#VisitSyldavia
A few administrative notes
Several readers have enquired about the mercantile notices that appear on certain pages of the Consulate's websites. The Office wishes to recall that budgetary constraints leave little choice: the Ministry of Foreign Affairs has severely reduced the allocations to overseas representations, citing the unfavourable evolution of the khôr, American tariff measures, and the allegedly extravagant lifestyle of Consuls.
The Office wishes to stress that no relationship should be inferred between the foregoing paragraph and the one that follows.
The Consul will be absent for part of the summer on an official mission to the United Kingdom, conducted as ever under the strictest economy. The itinerary takes in certain northern territories: a craggy island and several valleys whose topography may strike attentive readers of illustrated literature as unexpectedly familiar.
The Office further acknowledges that, in the course of this mission, the Consul may occasionally exchange the Kingdom's excellent mineral waters for local beverages of a peaty and smoky character. Such measures are understood to be strictly diplomatic in nature.
To those discovering us, not least through the kind notice of the Amis de Hergé, whose hospitality the Office lately enjoyed at Nivelles, the Consulate extends its most cordial greetings.
